


Naked Snafu Invades Eugene's Apartment

by Freebooter4Ever



Category: The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Eugene is tired, M/M, Pining, Sexy Cajun Exhibitionist, Sharing a Bed, Snafu wont let him sleep in peace
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:20:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25198369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freebooter4Ever/pseuds/Freebooter4Ever
Summary: Snafu crashes at Eugene's off campus apartment more often than not . Which is mostly fine, other than Eugene's growing crush on the guy. Until one night Snafu shows up to sleep on his couch naked and wrecks havoc. Then Eugene finally admits he's in love.Inspired by @persipneiwrites Apartment AU photos and my own college experiences. Warnings: nudity.
Relationships: Merriell "Snafu" Shelton/Eugene Sledge
Comments: 12
Kudos: 26





	Naked Snafu Invades Eugene's Apartment

**Author's Note:**

> Link to Persipnei's hilarious photo collection of 'living with Snafu in college would include...'
> 
> https://persipneiwrites.tumblr.com/post/190963528228/persipneiwrites-bonus-7-letting
> 
> Link to my sketch:
> 
> https://freebooter4ever.tumblr.com/post/612038575189540864/the-thrilling-conclusion-to-the-naked-snafu

Eugene is lying in bed reading after a long gruelling day of grading papers for the freshman biology class he TA's, when he hears the signature squeak of his living room window being slid open. A perk of living in a ground floor apartment along an alley - easy access off the street. The guy who rented the place before Eugene, one of his frat brothers, installed bars over the windows after some thief snuck in and stole the dude's nintendo console one night. 

Predictably though, even heavy duty metal bars can't keep out the force of nature known as Snafu.

Eugene doesn't know how Snafu gets the bars open, or how he closes them seamlessly again afterwards, and with a name like "situation normal all fucked up", Eugene kinda doesn't want to ask.

Eugene hears a loud clank outside his bedroom door as Snafu accidentally runs into the radiator. The boy may be good at breaking in, but he is not good at doing it undetected.

"Keep the heat off tonight, Snaf," Eugene calls through the door, not wanting to get out of his warm bed, "I've been too sick to pick up any extra shifts this week."

He hears Snafu huff loudly in response - a sound that might be a yes but also might be a no.

Eugene sighs, sets his book down, turns his light off, and resigns himself to having to ask his parents for rent money again. He's not going to press the issue with Snafu though. He knows it must get cold on his couch, especially in the winter months. And as far as Eugene can tell, Snafu doesn't have any parents to even ask for help, so it's the least Eugene can do.

Plus he kind of sleeps better knowing his best friend is only a few feet away.

Or at least usually he does. Tonight, just as he is drifting off to sleep, his bedroom door opens and a skinny wrist pokes through, slaps a white sheet of paper onto the door, and then slams it shut again.

"What the fuck?" Eugene fumbles for the light, feeling groggy.

It takes him a minute but finally, with a click, he can read the sign: "Sleeping NAKED tonight!!! Open door at own risk!"

"What the fuck?" Eugene mumbles. He gets out of bed and pads over to the door to make sure the sign says what he thinks it says.

"What the fuck!" he repeats, a little louder this time, "Snafu, you can't trap me in my own room!"

He receives no answer but he also didn't expect any.

"Snafu, if I have to use the restroom in the night I'm doing it, clothes or no clothes!" Eugene protests. He still doesn't open the door though.

Again, no response.

"This isn't the kind of trick you can pull in a one bedroom apartment," Eugene continues to yell. His glorified "living room" is little more than a square of carpet with a couch on one end and a 90's era TV shaped like Hello Kitty's head and roughly the size of a small dog on the other (a parting gift from Sid after he transferred to their home state college and left). The living room connects to the "kitchen" by a thin hallway that doubles as a "dining room" and behind the kitchen is the lone bathroom. So obviously, if Eugene needs to pee, he will be opening his door and crossing the living room to do it.

With a resigned sigh, Eugene goes back to bed and hopes the friday night beer he drank before settling down with his book will wait till morning.

It doesn't.

Eugene tries. He tries hard. The first time he wakes up with pressure against his bladder he rolls over and finds a sleeping position on his back comfortable enough that he can just ignore it. The second time he wakes up he gets out of bed, walks to the door, puts his hand on the knob, and then chickens out and retreats under his covers. He lies there, trying to think about anything other than rushing water.

See, the problem is he happens to like Snafu. A little more than is appropriate for a friendship. Or maybe a lot more, he hasn't had a chance to test his theory out. Walking through his living room and getting even a peripheral view of naked Snafu laying on his couch would qualify as way too much testing of this theory.

And Eugene only moved into the apartment three months ago so blindfolding himself and trying to find the bathroom by memory and feel is out of the question.

Eugene is reduced to knocking quietly on his own bedroom door.

"Snafu?" he stage whispers, "Snafu, are you awake? I need to pee."

No answer.

Eugene groans and bumps his forehead against the grainy wood door.

Maybe he could use blinders - like a horse.

He grabs one of the folders with the biology tests stuffed into it, and holds it at eye level. Carefully, he opens the door, and keeps the folder rotated so it's between him and the couch. He quietly creeps across the creaky floor, one step at a time, eyes pointed determinedly straight ahead, and breathes a sigh of relief when he reaches the kitchen. Finally safe, he drops the hand with the folder to his side, and is about to squeeze through the narrow gap between the oven and the kitchen table to get to the bathroom, when he hears the toilet flush.

In Eugene's defense, after twelve hours straight of grading (he always procrastinates worse on this than he ever did in his own school work), his brain is dead enough that it's a minor miracle he can even stand upright. He has no mental capacity or fast reflexes left to bring his hand holding the folder back up to eye level in time.

But he knows, as if in slow motion, exactly what is coming for him when Snafu opens the bathroom door and rounds the corner.

Snafu seems equally surprised. He stands there, framed by the opening from the kitchen to the bathroom/closet that calls itself a doorway but in fact resembles a narrow nook. The doorway is the exact same width as Snafu's shoulders, Eugene notices, and makes him look skinny, and maybe a little taller. It also leaves Eugene's eyes with very little else to go except up and...down. 

The sign on the door was apparently not an idle threat.

Snafu doesn't say anything. He just stares, wide eyed, like a deer, or a cat caught sitting in the sun.

Sitting  _ naked _ in the sun.

Eugene drops his folder. It falls awkwardly and fans out all the pages into a jumble. If Eugene's brain was firing on all cylinders he might recall the annoyingly large number of students who neglected to staple their pages together. Pages shuffled into a mix that will take hours to sort with concentrated careful reading. But funny how that issue seems so minor now.

"You're staring, Gene," Snafu says in that slow drawl of his. Him being the first to recover from the shock.

Eugene snaps his eyes back to Snafu's face and is confronted by a mischievous smirk there.

Eugene does not return the smile.

"I still need to pee," he says, eloquently.

Snafu does not stand aside. Or at least he does, but he refuses to leave the doorway and standing aside in such a small space means there is very little room for Eugene to scoot past. So little room that they brush up against each other, chest to chest, when he does.

Snafu is still smirking.

Eugene thinks he is going to die, but not before he relieves the screaming pressure in his bladder, which he does, while desperately hoping Snafu goes back to bed and sleeps facing in towards the couch cushions.

The couch is empty when Eugene returns. But, mysteriously, the sign on his bedroom door has moved to the opposite side, loudly proclaiming its warning to anyone trying to enter the room this time, rather than leave it. His bedroom door, which is now closed, when he knows he deliberately left it open for a quick escape after using the restroom.

"Fuck," Eugene mutters, knocking his head against the door. Snafu is sleeping in his bed - naked - and Eugene is left with a choice: lumpy couch, or painfully stiff carpeted floor.

Either way he has no blankets.

Though he does notice the radiator is turned on to max and it's almost pleasantly warm in the apartment.

He vaguely wonders if Snafu's behavior qualifies as stepping over the line of friendship, or if since Snafu is not the one afflicted with conflicted feelings, this is just something bros do. Eugene knows he's going to be awake the rest of the night trying to come up with a less awkward way of asking Roe if Snafu ever sleeps naked when he crashes at Roe's place, or if this is a special quirk reserved for Eugene's enjoyment alone.

\---------

  
  
  
  


Eugene chooses the couch. The minute he lies down, he regrets his choice. The cushions are so thin they almost don't exist. Whenever he moves the damn things squeak. And he swears each individual spring is poking into his body. Even if his thoughts weren't racing in circles trying to understand Snafu's behavior, Eugene thinks he'd still be kept awake all night by this uncomfortable couch.

How does Snafu sleep like this three days out of the week?

It's never three set days - some weeks it's more; some weeks less. As far as Eugene knows, Snafu technically doesn't rent a place anywhere and instead divides his time amongst his friend's couches.

"Semper-fi," Snafu says, if anyone asks.

Eugene never questions it, and maybe that's why Snafu seems to spend more time here than anywhere else. Though after tonight, now that Eugene knows how miserable his couch is, he might have to start saving up for a new one. He can't let Snafu continue to sleep on this orange, lumpy, prickly thing from the 80's.

Better that Snafu sleep on something orange, soft, and  _ born _ in the 80's - like, say, Eugene himself.

Eugene rolls over restlessly and promptly receives a sharp poke to his ass from one of the springs.

He definitely needs to replace this couch.

If only because the other option - suggesting Snafu share his bed instead - is completely inappropriate and far too enticing.

Eugene opens his text messages and scrolls past the various group chats that take up half his phone storage. Snafu starts these chats with random friends of his and then somehow pulls Eugene into them. 

Eugene scrolls and scrolls until he finds Eugene Number Two. He needs expert advice. And there is only one other person in the world who knows more about Snafu than Eugene does. It's only a strange coincidence they have the same name.

Eugene needs to know if Snafu's exhibitionism is equal opportunity or selective. After much deliberation about how to ask this, he decides to go with the direct approach.

Eugene to EugeneTwo 3:45am - 'does snafu ever sleep naked on your couch?'

EugeneTwo to Eugene 2:46am - 'If he ever tried his bare ass would be tossed out into the snow.'

EugeneTwo to Eugene 2:53am - 'Why do you ask? Is Snafu sleeping nude on your couch right now? You have my permission to toss him out. Be merciless. I know how you get when he gives you that kicked puppy look. Don't fall for it.'

Eugene to EugeneTwo 2:54am - 'right now hes sleeping in my bed naked but it started on my couch.'

EugeneTwo to Eugene 2:55am - 'Ok, I do not need to hear about your sex life'

Eugene to EugeneTwo 3:00am - 'no sex'

Eugene to EugeneTwo 3:01am - 'i took the couch''

Eugene to EugeneTwo 3:01am - 'do you think he would though?'

Eugene to EugeneTwo 3:02am - 'trying to gauge my chances here'

EugeneTwo to Eugene 3:05am - 'He's in your bed naked Sledgehammer, what do you think?.'

EugeneTwo to Eugene 3:05am - 'You are both dumbasses though so 0% chance is my prediction.'

EugeneTwo to Eugene 3:05am - 'Good luck.'

EugeneTwo to Eugene 3:07am - 'Use protection. Snafu's backpack, side pocket with the snap. You should have no trouble finding it.'

Eugene Number Two, aka Roe, is studying to be an EMT, so he's always harping about health or venereal diseases or something or other. Eugene never pays attention to any of it. He kinda hopes Snafu does.

Eugene sits on the couch and surveys the room. Snafu's backpack seems to be missing. It's either in Eugene's room with Snafu or as mysteriously disappeared as Snafu's clothes.

Eugene sighs. Sex with Snafu was a zero percent chance for him anyway, Roe said so. And Roe tends to be irritatingly accurate when it comes to Snafu. It's always been a bit of a competition between them over best friend status in Snafu's heart. The other Eugene usually wins. Roe has more history with Shelton - they grew up in the same state, raced boats with homemade dangerous motors in the same swamps, ate the same weird fish. 

Except Snafu doesn't get naked when he stays over at Roe's place. Eugene doesn't know if this new development can be considered a win or not.

Probably not. It's just another thing to add to the list of weirdness Snafu knows he can get away with around Eugene.

Eugene opens his phone again and rereads the messages. With noted emphasis on the one telling him to be merciless. He  _ does _ give in to Snafu's esoteric demands a lot more than is probably healthy. He  _ should _ stand up for himself more.

It's that thought that gets Eugene off the couch and into his bedroom. He stands in the narrow space at the foot of his bed and stares at Snafu's peacefully sleeping form. All he can see is the top of his curly head. The rest of him is a lump underneath the covers, smack dab in the center of the bed, like goldilocks. There's maybe a foot of mattress space left for Eugene on either side of Snafu's body.

Snafu is sleeping curled up with his head pillowed on his arm, so Eugene struggles with a brief internal debate over which side he should take. He settles on the front - logic being that he's already seen everything there once. He might be immune to the sight now. Quickly, before he can have second thoughts, he slides underneath the bedspread and sheets.

Snafu's eyes pop open immediately. Eugene suspects he wasn't actually asleep. Snafu grins at Eugene, but doesn't move, not even to make more room on the bed. It's an awful tight squeeze, with the three of them on there.

Because sure enough, clutched tight in Snafu's skinny arms, is Eugene's childhood favorite stuffed animal. Eugene thought he hid Minky well enough this time. He put the stuffed animal at the bottom of his underwear drawer and assumed his friends would never dare paw through his unmentionables. Eugene needs to adjust the assumptions he makes based on previous life experiences. Previous life experiences rarely apply to Snafu.

"I can't believe you still sleep with a stuffed animal, Gene," Snafu says mockingly, even while his chin is neatly tucked over Minky's plush shoulder and one of his arms is wrapped around the stuffed monkey's body.

Eugene breathes deeply and resists the temptation to throttle his hypocritical best friend.

"My mom sent him to me," Eugene protests.

"She send you the baby food in your kitchen cupboards as well?" Snafu asks, his grin widening.

Eugene can feel his face getting hot. "She worries about me," he says, "She thinks I'm lonely. I think she's projecting. My dad bought her two giant life-sized teddy bears after I went away for college. They sit at the dining room table when Edward and I aren't there. I think that gave her the idea to mail my old stuffed animal to me. Minky just shares my bed sometimes. I don't cuddle with it.  _ Not like you're doing right now _ ."

"You lonely, Gene?" Snafu asks, turning the words into something far more provocative than they should be.

"No," Eugene says firmly. He swallows with great difficulty.

Snafu's smile disappears. He slides himself backwards in the bed to give Eugene more room. Eugene takes it. But he quickly discovers Snafu failed to move his feet over as well, and his feet are ice cold. Snafu worms one foot in between Eugene's calves, and Eugene bemusedly accepts the fact that if he is going to get the use of his own bed, he is also going to be used as a foot warmer.

"You're definitely the baby in the family, Sledgehammer," Snafu decides.

"I was," Eugene admits readily, unashamed, "What about you?"

"Eldest," Snafu yawns, "More like a crappy parent than a brother."

Snafu curls tighter into a fetal position. His foot migrates from between Eugene's calves to between his thighs. A highly distracting position. But Snafu looks so...sad...that it's hard to read anything into it more than Snafu's constant need for contact. There's a wall up between them tonight that isn't normally there. Snafu holds Minky in front of his body, with his elbows and knees poking into Eugene's space like a barrier.

Eugene is seized with a sudden desire to hug him.

He wonders, if he picked the other side of the bed, if Snafu would've let Eugene wrap his arms around him. If Eugene could hold him, just as Snafu is cuddling with the damn stuffed monkey. To press his hand against Snafu's bare stomach. To feel Snafu's back against his own chest. To kiss his shoulder. To whisper 'I love everything about you, even the weirdness. I don't understand it, but I get it. I see it in myself sometimes, too,' in his ear.

"Are you lonely, Snaf?" Eugene asks.

Snafu is already asleep.

Eugene takes a while longer to fall asleep. It's one thing to have already seen Snafu stark naked. It's another thing entirely to have the same situation play out in this context. Where he can't see it, but he knows it, and that's almost worse.

Eugene reaches his hand down to lightly hold Snafu's ankle where it's wedged between Eugene's legs. He runs his thumb along the knob of bone and the dip underneath where Snafu's ankle connects to his heel. There's dried dirt caked there - of course there is, this is Snafu after all - and Eugene chuckles. He softly rubs Snafu's skin clean.

Snafu smiles, once again not actually asleep though his eyes are still closed, and wiggles his toes.

Eugene smiles back, helpless in the wake of affection he feels, and squeezes Snafu's ankle comfortingly.

This time Eugene does fall asleep.

He dreams of Snafu on top of him, kissing him. It's warm and sweaty underneath the thick blankets, the air cold as sin outside them.

When he wakes Snafu is gone. The first thing Eugene sees when he opens his eyes is Minky's button-eyed face. The stuffed monkey's plastic nose is pressed right up against Eugene's like a kiss. Snafu must have placed him there after getting out of bed.

Eugene reaches out, grabs Minky, and pulls the stuffed animal tight to his chest, hugging it like he hasn't done since he was...well...if he's honest maybe fourteen or so - he was a soft child. His heart aches terribly right now, and he figures that's as good an excuse as any for a cuddle. He burrows deeper into the covers and tries to hide from his thoughts.

Fuck, he hopes Snafu doesn't decide to do this again. His heart can't take it. It's reduced Eugene to this. Lying here while his heart aches. And aches and aches.

Wait. Actually, that might be his stomach.

As soon as he thinks about it, he feels a grumble. And, yup, that pain he feels is his stomach. He might have forgotten to eat before bed last night, what with his living room being too full of a sexy cajun exhibitionist to leave room for anything else.

Still not completely awake, he staggers out of his room and starts towards the kitchen to answer his grumbling stomach. He notices a crop of curls crouched down on the kitchen floor and forces his eyes open wider to see what it is. When he does see, he is momentarily dazed in shock.

Snafu is sitting in the middle of Eugene's dropped pile of graded papers. His face is scrunched tight in concentration as he sorts where one sentence leaves off at the end of a page and where it begins on another.

"You're reorganizing my papers?" Eugene asks stupidly.

Snafu looks up, guilty, "Yeah."

"Thank you…" Eugene stutters.

"I felt bad," Snafu explains, "My fault you dropped them…" He lets go of the page he is reading and scratches the back of his head self consciously.

The messy pile surrounding Snafu's bare knees is significantly smaller than Eugene remembers it being last night. As evidenced by the neat stack on the kitchen table beside Snafu's head. Snafu must have been up for hours already to have gotten this far in the organizing. 

And menial labor is the thing Snafu hates most in the world. ("I grade tests for no man," Snafu once said when the two of them were locked in a hotel for a week with a whole host of science professors to score the AP exams)

Yet here Snafu is, calm as he pleases, kneeling on Eugene's floor in his boxers and sorting through the most boring essays on cell biology ever written.

Hold on - Eugene  _ recognizes _ those lime green and orange boxers.

"Snafu, what happened to all your clothes?" Eugene asks.

"That fucker Mackenzie cheated in poker," Snafu scowls, "Hate that guy."

"Are those my boxers?" Eugene asks.

Snafu shrugs and without turning away from his work, says, "Yours are more comfortable."

They should be, Eugene thinks, they're silk.

And fuck, that's the last straw. For some reason Snafu wearing his best - his favorite - underwear is the thing that breaks the camel's back. Eugene is fed up. There is no excuse, not for this big of a breach in personal boundaries. Friendship be damned.

Snafu fails to notice the turn in the tide, innocently shuffling the last few pages around. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say these kids never opened a biology textbook before," Snafu comments, "Gene, half of these essays don't make sense even when the pages are put back in order…" Snafu continues rambling on about the unfortunate state of the American collegiate system and our unfortunate focus on standardized testing over deeper literacy, due to it being more expensive and time consuming to test writing skills and critical thinking. 

It's a well traveled train of thought for them, and one both Eugene and Snafu have discussed at length often enough that Eugene doesn't even need to pay attention to know where Snafu's headed. There is a comforting familiarity to hearing Snafu chatter half to himself and half to Eugene while he works. And Eugene agrees on all his points. Normally he would join in. But...

"Snafu…" Eugene tries to interrupt.

"If we just had more  _ bodies _ in the public school system, instead of allowing people with means to circumvent communal education by paying for elite charter and private schools…" Snafu rambles on.

" _ Merriell _ ," Eugene says desperately.

When even the use of Snafu's given name fails to catch his attention, Eugene knows for certain Snafu is a lost cause in his train of thought and not about to surface anytime soon..

Thus Snafu is caught unawares when Eugene leans down, pushes demandingly into Snafu's space, and plants a firm kiss smack dab on his lips. Eugene squeezes his eyes shut - his mouth is hard, and the kiss is less romantic and more an act of desperation - to see if Snafu's incessant goading and prodding actually means anything - and to put in his own request for something  _ more _ . Eugene pulls away quick and opens his eyes to see the answer.

Snafu immediately drops the papers and grabs onto Eugene instead. His large, warm hands slide around the back of Eugene's neck and pull him in. He kisses Eugene like nothing else matters.

Eugene, still standing awkwardly, tips over and loses his balance. He careens into Snafu and knocks them both to the cracked linoleum floor. Their kiss breaks and Snafu is laughing. He cradles Gene's face in his hands, stares up at him with enigmatic eyes, and laughs at him.

Eugene stares back in panic, beginning to worry he just made the biggest mistake, and ruined the deepest friendship he's ever experienced.

Snafu sits up, not taking his eyes off Eugene, and brings their faces closer together again. Neither of them speak. Eugene hardly dares to breathe.

He calms down a bit when Snafu places his palms flat against Gene's chest. Snafu smooths the wrinkles out of Eugene's pajama shirt, and runs his fingertips across Eugene's initials embroidered into the breast pocket.

Eugene watches all this exploration unfold, trying to pretend he's not heavily invested in the outcome. He adds no commentary either, for fear of changing Snafu's mind.

It tests his patience, waiting. The time it takes Snafu to undo the first button on Eugene's shirt would make a slug seem speedy by comparison. But one by one, the buttons open up, and the shirt comes off, and Snafu moves on to Eugene's sweatpants, painstakingly untying the drawstring. Snafu manhandles Eugene into a standing position in order to get those off. Eugene's boxers are last, pulled down without ceremony. And then Snafu stands with him, and takes a step back.

He draws his eyes slowly down Eugene's form - Snafu's face a picture of concentration as hard as it was when reading the biology papers. Finally, he brings his gaze back up, and meets Eugene's eyes. A knowing smile crawls across his face.

"Wow," Snafu says. The tilt of his head is a little too sarcastic for Eugene's comfort.

Eugene straightens his shoulders, and tries to stand a little taller.

"Got all your clothes off, and I didn't even need to beat you in poker," Snafu says with pride.

Eugene's shoulders slump in defeat. If he had thought Snafu would magically transform into something other than his emotionally-distant, constantly-deflecting-real-feelings self, he was wrong.

"I'm going back to bed," Eugene grumbles. He ignores his painful stomach telling him he forgot to eat again and stomps through his living room.

"Don't you need your pajamas?" Snafu calls after him teasingly.

"Read the sign!" Eugene replies and slams his bedroom door shut to drive his point home.

He dives underneath the covers and intends to stay there for the rest of the day, hunger and bathroom needs be damned.

But sure enough, not too long after Eugene's tantrum, the door of his bedroom opens once more. He is not surprised.

"Didn't you read the sign," Eugene accuses, loud enough for Snafu to understand his muffled voice underneath the covers.

"I did," Snafu says. The bed dips in a way that suggests Snafu is sitting next to him. "And I'm willing to take that risk.".

Eugene flops the covers off his face and looks begrudgingly at Snaf.

Snafu grins. He reaches over and drags his fingers through Eugene's hair. Eugene can feel the static cling crackle against his skin where his hair is sticking out at odd angles.

"Snaf, it's not a risk if you like me too," Eugene complains wearily.

"Yeah it is," Snafu says as he stands and wiggles out of Eugene's expensive silk boxers, "It's always a risk." He pulls the covers back more to reveal Eugene completely, and climbs onto the bed.

Eugene tries to maneuver out of his way to give him room, but Snafu rests his hand over Eugene's arm, and Eugene stops moving.

Until he shivers.

"I turned off the heat, like you asked," Snafu says proudly.

"A few hours late on that," Eugene points out.

Snafu shrugs. He climbs over Eugene, and sits on his stomach with a knee on either side of Eugene's body. His eyes never leave Eugene's face. Snafu is looking at him with a funny little smile, the one Eugene only sees when Snafu is well and truly enjoying himself.

And there - for one minute - there is that face, those eyes, that look, that Eugene can never resist as Roe so kindly pointed out. Snafu looks happy, but in a nervous way like he doesn't trust his own happiness. 

Eugene could probably be content simply sitting and admiring Snafu all morning. Except for one small detail that suddenly consumes all of Eugene's attention.

Snafu's dick is hard.

Eugene can both feel and see (if he is brave enough to cast his gaze a little lower) the state of things.

"Did Mac take your backpack too?" Eugene asks.

"Yeah," Snafu says, looking confused, "Why's it matter?"

"Roe stashed some condoms in there," Eugene explains.

"Oh yeah?" Snafu asks with a triumphant grin sitting straighter and cocking his chin, "What you gonna do with a condom if you had one, Sledgehammer?"

Eugene sits up, wrapping one arm around Snafu's lower waist in order to slowly slide him down off Eugene's chest and into his lap. It puts them more on an even level.

"I don't know," Eugene says honestly, "Anything you wanted, probably."

Snafu's devilish grin disappears. He falls completely silent, and lets his hands rest lightly on Eugene's shoulders. Eugene's never seen Snafu timid, until now. He doesn't like it. He wishes he knew how to restore that confidence. Maybe this was Eugene's mistake. Maybe he turned this too serious, made it mean too much. Maybe he wants too much.

"It's okay, Snaf," Eugene whispers and holds him close while trying to read his thoughts through his eyes, "It's okay."

This time Snafu is the one to break the tension. He cups his hands behind Eugene's head and brings their lips together. The kiss is sudden and intense - as if when Snafu finally gives himself permission, he releases all his emotions at once. It's a little overwhelming, being the sole focus of Snafu's unleashed feelings. Like Eugene is holding an uncontainable ball of energy.

And Snafu won't stop pressing closer, and Eugene refuses to take his hands off him - so he responds to every roll of Snafu's hips by pulling him in even tighter. They tip backwards and land flat on the bed, and Eugene relishes in the full weight of Snafu on top of him, kissing him - more vivid and warm and alive and clumsy than any dream could imagine.

Eugene is fumbling, and a bit shy. Snafu more than makes up for it, guiding Eugene's hand to all the right places. They never do find any condoms. Just as well - neither of them last long, rutting up against each other like teenagers brand new to this game.

Eugene definitely is new to this. He technically still classifies as a virgin. On the other hand, Snafu's experience hovers somewhere around expert level. It's cute though, to see all Snafu's experience and bravado humbled in the face of wanting to impress Eugene.

It's also extremely messy, which isn't something Eugene had ever considered. And he is fastidious enough to insist they shower off together. Eugene gives himself a perfunctory scrub down, and then leaves Snafu lingering in the steam filled bathroom in order to go out to the kitchen and make breakfast. Eugene starts cooking bacon - the only food he never ruins - before he even puts on clothes. He fails to consider the hot grease. He learns pretty quickly why some things shouldn't be done naked, so he wraps a towel around himself for safety's sake.

Snafu doesn't leave the warm shower till the bacon is done, and then the two of them curl up together on the couch to watch a movie. It feels like any other slow moving Saturday morning they've spent together. Except this time before Eugene can seat himself, Snafu drags the towel off him, as if nudity is a requirement to this new shift in their relationship. The silly, ebullient grin on Snafu's face when Eugene complies with his silent request is enough to quash any of Eugene's insecurities about being naked in front of him though.

Snafu takes one end of the couch and maneuvers Eugene into sitting between Snafu's legs, with his arms around Eugene's waist and the plate of bacon within easy reach on Eugene's lap. Every so often one of Snafu's hands slides underneath Eugene's elbow, steals a slice, and retreats back behind his shoulder, and then Eugene hears the sound of munching in his ear. In between bites, Snafu places gentle kisses on Eugene's neck, and Eugene knows he'll be smelling like bacon for days.

When the bacon's gone, Eugene slides farther down his seat so he can lean his head against Snafu's shoulder and get more comfortable. Snafu gives a pleased hum and twists his fingers into Eugene's still damp hair - either detangling knots or creating them, Eugene can't tell.

"Do we need to go out on a date to make this official?" Eugene asks.

"Official?" Snafu wonders.

"You're gonna be my boyfriend, right?" Eugene asks, twisting so he can look up at Snafu. He realizes belatedly how childish that sounds. More like a naive, inexperienced spinster too old to be asking or caring about such questions.

"Sure Sledgehammer," Snafu laughs, "You gonna give me your class ring? Get me one of your orchestra letterman jackets that I can wear around? Let everyone know you're mine?"

"I'm not in orchestra Snaf, and it's marching band that gets the jackets," Eugene says.

"Fine then, one of them marching band jackets," Snafu drawls.

"I'm not in marching band either," Eugene says, amused.

"Then what is that thing you get all dressed up for every morning?" Snafu asks.

"The NROTC?" Eugene clarifies.

"Yeah, that," Snaf says.

"That's not a marching band, Snaf," Eugene says patiently.

"Whatever it is, you always look hot," Snafu says, "marching around in that tight little uniform."

Sledge coughs, startled by the compliment and the leer Snafu gives him to go along with it, "Hot? Well. Yeah I guess the uniform  _ can  _ be really sweaty sometimes. Especially in the sun."

"Can I have the jacket to wear?" Snafu asks hopefully.

"No, I need the jacket," Eugene tells him, "It's not like a letterman's jacket, Snafu. It doesn't even have my name on it."

"I'd like to fuck you with the hat on," Snafu comments.

Eugene closes his eyes, as if that hides his reaction to Snafu's words, as if Eugene can't feel his face burning, "We are leaving my uniform completely out of this relationship, Snaf."

"Relationship?" Snafu echoes, sounding lost.

"Yeah," Eugene says softly, 

"That what you want?" Snafu asks, disbelief in his voice.

"Of course, Snaf," Eugene says, unwilling to be intimidated out of making this decision. He shifts in Snafu's lap and turns around so he can look his  _ boyfriend _ in the face.

"Okay then," Snafu says cautiously, "Sure. We can date. If you're serious."

"I  _ am _ serious, I want all of you Snaf," Eugene leans forward and places a hand on Snafu's hip, " - want to spend time with you intentionally, not only the random evenings you crash here just 'cause you have nowhere else to go."

"That's not true," Snafu drawls dismissively.

"What's not true?"

"That I got nowhere else to go. Burgie and Flo set up their extra bedroom for me. S'where all my junk is," Snafu explains, "I just like your place more. It's comfortable."

"Snafu," Eugene admonishes fondly, "I happen to have first hand experience that says this couch is the least comfortable sleeping couch I have ever laid down on." He leans closer and closer, brushing their noses together, a soppy smile on his face.

"Better not use it for sleeping then," Snafu retorts, in a dangerous tone that really Eugene should be recognizing by now. Somehow Snafu slips out from under Eugene, flips them over, settles himself at the opposite end of the couch, removes the bacon plate from Eugene's lap, and goes down on him.

Eugene lets out an involuntary yelp of pleasure, and snags his hand in Snafu's unruly hair (neither of them bothered with personal grooming after the shower).

No one hears the front door of Eugene's apartment click unlocked.

"Hey Eugene, I heard you yell, so I know you're awake. I just need to borrow a cup of sugar. I'm making pop tarts from scratch and I didn't realize I used all my sugar last week for the apple crumble...HOLY FUCK!"

"Bill!" Eugene exclaims, "Not now!" Snaf's mouth is still on him, but as soon as he pulls off he'll leave Eugene bare to the world.

Eugene's warning comes too late, Bill is already clutching at his face, "Oh, my eyes!! My eyes!" Bill staggers backward and crashes into the wall next to the door.

Eugene's skin is turning hot pink. He's never been this embarrassed. He scrambles to sit up and belatedly realizes he never got around to buying throw pillows for his couch. He pries a cushion from the frame instead and hides behind it. Snafu sits upright next to him and casually reclines against the couch. He spreads his legs obscenely and glowers at Bill, but otherwise is as calm as you please.

"My eyes!" Bill cries out again, flailing desperately.

Fully covered and feeling more confident, especially given his new status as Snafu's  _ boyfriend _ , Eugene finds it in himself to be annoyed. After all, it was Bill who used the spare key Eugene gave him for emergencies to walk into his apartment uninvited. "Bill, quit acting like you've been shot," Eugene snaps.

"I think I  _ have _ been shot," Bill complains, "What is this searing pain behind my retina??" He dramatically slides down the wall and flops to the ground where he lies boneless.

"Bill…" Eugene says patiently.

"I have never, ever wanted to see that much of Snafu's ass," Bill moans.

"You would be so lucky," Snafu retorts, still scowling.

"Bill, if you want the sugar, the bowl is in the narrow cupboard beside the oven," Eugene says, and then glances sideways at Snafu, "I don't think Snafu is gonna cover up, though."

"No! Fuck, I'm leaving," Bill reaches blindly for the door knob and pulls himself to his feet. He hobbles the few steps through the doorway, "Those stark tan lines...they'll be etched in my brain forever after this. Why??? Why me?"

The minute the door closes, Snafu stands. He stalks over to Eugene's bedroom door, rips the warning notice down, stomps over to the front door, opens it wide, slaps the sign on the front of it, and slams it shut.

Eugene sighs. He follows Snafu's lead and gets up to shove the couch cushion back in place. He also goes into the kitchen and finds the sugar bowl. Nudging Snafu out of the way, Eugene opens the front door and sets the sugar bowl down on the welcome mat.

"He'll be back to get it," Eugene explains.

Snafu says nothing, but after Eugene closes the front door for a final time, Snafu pushes him up against it and kisses him silly. At first Eugene's a little overwhelmed by the ferocity. Then Snafu kisses slowly down Eugene's neck, then his sternum, then his belly, then continues to do that which was so rudely interrupted before, and then Eugene is  _ very extremely _ overwhelmed. In a good way. so good he almost collapses, but Snafu holds him up.

He's pretty sure he makes a number of new noises too, and he desperately hopes Bill returns to retrieve the sugar bowl later rather than sooner.

When they finish and Eugene slumps on the ground and leans against the door - and Snafu sprawls in his lap facing him and leans against Eugene's shoulder with a smile like the cheshire cat - there is a loud rap on the door.

"So Eugene, from the sound of things, I take it you aren't a virgin anymore," Bill proclaims loudly through the door.

"Go away, Bill," Eugene calls back.

"Thanks for the sugar," Bill yells as they hear his footsteps retreat down the hall.

Snafu stays at Eugene's place again that night, and keeps staying every night after.

To save Bill's eyes they start putting Snafu's warning sign on the apartment door in the hallway whenever it's necessary. Which is quite often. And everytime they do, without fail, Bill walks by at least once and hollars, "Congrats on the sex," at them through the door.

("Stop yelling in the hallway," Burgie complains, "Bad enough they announce it with a sign, you needn't act as town crier for the two of 'em. We don't need this, Bill.")

Snafu finds this hilarious, and glows with pride. Eugene feels a little more awkward about it all, but he is grateful for the privacy the sign offers (he can never remember how many spare keys he gave out to friends, and he knows for sure Bill duplicated the key and gave it to another friend at least once), and he is a little relieved to no longer be known as the blushing virgin of the apartment complex anymore.

Honestly, he doesn't see how it was anybody's business in the first place.

"You can't go through college and remain a virgin, Eugene," is what his brother Edward told him.

Somehow Eugene doubts Snafu is quite what his brother had in mind for Eugene, but he doesn't care. Snafu and Eugene go on a couple dates, just to make it public. And everyone acts surprised - not by them being together but by the realization that they weren't before.

Even though Eugene steadfastly refuses to wear it himself, Snafu does wear Eugene's spiffy Marine Corps hat in bed once. For the next week afterwards, Eugene finds it hard not to get turned on every time he dons his uniform. Nevertheless, Eugene still won't let Snafu borrow his jacket and wear it around campus. As a compromise Eugene pins his extra insignia to the collar of Snafu's own jacket. Snafu wears the jacket daily - despite the humidity of summer afternoons.

After a couple months, Snafu finally officially moves all his stuff from Burgie's place to Eugene's. Burgie buys the two of them a slow cooker to celebrate. At first Eugene is confused by this gift because he can't cook to save his life and everyone knows it. But Burgie just smiles, gives him a knowing look, and says "I'd offer Snafu ours - he uses it more than we ever do - but Florence would have my head."

Snafu's cooking is never conventional, and never includes the same ingredients twice, yet it always tastes amazing. Eugene chalks it up as another one of Snafu's personal mysteries that probably should never be explained. Eugene tries to return the favor by surprising Snafu with dinner one saturday night. He ends up setting the oven on fire.

Snafu arrives home after work and finds Eugene sitting on the kitchen floor, his back against the fridge and his feet stretched out across the linoleum. He taps his foot impatiently against the oven door and stares intently through the glass. Snafu bends down and peers into the oven from a distance.

"That little ball of flame in there our food or a science experiment?" Snafu asks cautiously.

"Our food," Eugene says curtly, "Don't worry, I cut the heat off. And the fire'll run out of oxygen soon, anyway."

Snafu delicately steps over Eugene's legs and then settles next to him on the floor. "Promise me you'll never use my slow cooker?" he asks.

Eugene holds up his hand and sticks out his pinky finger.

Snafu grins wide and hooks their pinkies together, shaking on it.

"Wanna see what I've been working on?" Snafu asks, shrugging his canvas duffle onto his lap. The duffle conspicuously has "Eugene Bondurant Sledge" stamped on it's side, but Eugene lets it go.

"Sure," Eugene says, leaning in closer to rest his chin on his boyfriend's shoulder.

Snafu unrolls the duffle and sticks his hand in. He hesitates, and says, with a teasing glint in his eye, "You won't try to throw it on the fire for kindling?"

"No, Snafu," Eugene rolls his eyes.

Snafu pulls his hand out to reveal a beautiful, meticulously detailed, carved wooden pipe.

Eugene immediately sits up straight and holds his hands out, all his cooking woes forgotten.

Snafu chuckles and drops the pipe into Eugene's outstretched palms.

Eugene gingerly stabilizes it, glaring at Snafu for dropping it like it's nothing. One day Eugene will convince Snafu that his handiwork is worth something. He holds the pipe up and runs his hands across the carvings in awe. The shapes and markings on the intertwined leaves are accurate enough that Eugene can name each plant species.

"Snaf…" Eugene whispers.

"See? I do pay some attention to all that useless bio knowledge you try to cram in my head," Snafu boasts.

"Snaf," Eugene reaches with his free hand to cup Snafu's face and tilt his chin towards him for a kiss.

Snafu goes in smiling.

Eugene throws a leg over Snafu's waist, and Snafu guides him into his lap. Before things get too heated, Eugene carefully slides the pipe onto the nearest counter. And then they fuck on the cold bumpy kitchen tile.

They forgot to put the sign on the door, but thankfully no one needed sugar tonight.

Eugene smokes his pipe for the first time that night while Snafu has his preferred cigarettes. He and Snafu lean over the air conditioner unit on opposite sides, and pretend that the tiny two inch crack of fresh air between the unit and the wall helps their apartment smell less like smoke.

Eugene proudly lights his new pipe, and watches Snafu's eyes and teeth glow with joy as he does it.

For as long as Eugene has known him, Snafu spends nights and weekends working as the foundry and wood shop manager at the college. During most of the year this means he's responsible for keeping students alive and in one piece. Surprisingly, he's actually good at it. Accidents went down by seventy percent after they hired him. Which is why the college looks the other way when Snafu spends most of his summer hours experimenting.

It's where they met, actually. Eugene made the inadvisable choice to take a ceramic paint and glaze chemistry class. What he didn't realize was that he would actually need to sculpt something. He spent many many long nights and weekends in the clay studio, and still ended up with a lumpy blob instead of a self portrait. Luckily, his long hours also meant he ran into an offbeat looking, bright-eyed artist who never introduced himself by name but sculpted Eugene's final project for him anyway. In return Eugene did Snafu's science homework. It became routine, and when Eugene discovered Snafu was sleeping on the shitty foundry couch each night, he offered Snafu the use of his apartment then and there. Snafu took him up on that offer regularly, and the rest is history.

Come to think of it, Eugene  _ still _ does Snafu's science homework. Although after having tried to sleep on his own couch, Eugene isn't convinced Snafu didn't get the worst end of the deal. It baffles him, why Snafu would've kept sneaking into Eugene's place to lose sleep on a shitty couch.

Till one evening, over a year into their relationship, Eugene is once again reading before bed. This time Snafu is dozing on top of him, stark naked in a comfortable familiar way, with his arms wrapped around Eugene's waist and his face turned in towards Eugene's stomach ("Your gut is softer than your bony chest, Gene"), Snafu lifts his head up, scoots forward, and rests his chin atop Eugene's textbook. He lays there, studying Eugene's face and thoroughly distracting Eugene from his reading for a while until Eugene gives up and looks at him.

"Maybe it wasn't your couch," Snafu admits, "Maybe it's just  _ you _ that's more comfortable."

Eugene smiles, pulls Snafu in for a long, lingering kiss, and abandons his book to the nightstand. "I put the sign up already, before we went to bed," he whispers to Snafu, trying to make his voice as seductive as possible.

Snafu grins and eagerly drags Eugene's shirt off over his head, "Always on top of things."

"You know me," Eugene teases. He rolls them over to get Snafu underneath him - sweet and precious and butt naked.

Snafu wraps his legs around Eugene's waist and gives him an encouraging kiss.

But instead of escalating, Eugene pauses to bask in the warmth of their embrace. "Merriell," he croons into his boyfriend's neck, "I lov…"

"Congrats on the sex!" they hear Bill yell loudly as he stumbles drunkenly home through the apartment hallway.

Screw the new couch, maybe it's time Eugene got a new apartment.

Snafu starts laughing, but with the way he is looking at Gene there is no doubt he returns Eugene's interrupted sentiment.


End file.
